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The Afterlife
The Religion of Wheel's knowledge about the afterlife has been passed down through the ages. It started many many years ago by the arc-angel Foamy the mug of beer. Foamy revealed to Voldor many things, so many that the church of The Religion of Wheel has an entire room full of what he said. Among that which was revealed to Voldor was the knowledge of the afterlife. Voldor revealed most of this information when someone asked, and over time it has been compiled into this easy to read and understand document, shown through his perspective.
This is what Voldor told anyone who asked and has been passed down through the ages. Enjoy:
Foamy has told me of the Afterlife; it is much like Valhalla but with more booze. The taps are stocked with every brand and variety of beer known to modern and ancient man. Foamy told me of it in detail; it's like one huge drinking hall, well lit and 20ish well endowed girls serve you. Horny women and lesbians are everywhere; it's nearly impossible to find a corner not inhabited by them. Huge TV screens adorn the walls, showing every sport imaginable. Foxy boxing and mud wrestling are commonplace. There are fields and ranks everywhere, the greatest football teams play perpetually and you can't go five feet without seeing a fight of some sort. There are streams, rivers, lakes and oceans galore for the fisherman and if you go out the backdoor you can find every forest, field or prairie stocked with every game animal known to mankind. Beyond these forests and fields lays the biggest paintball arena in the universe: it has no borders and encompases every kind of terrian found in the universe, and some not even seen by mortal eyes. Foamy told me one more thing about the afterlife the last time I saw him, he told me this: "A man can be occupied for all eternity with anything he pleases. If he wishes to watch lesbians all day, then he can. If he wishes to do the horny college women, he may. If he wishes to carve wood or to weld metal he may. If he wishes to work on cars, he may. The options are limitless."
Feel free to give me ideas, comments, or anything else you sick and demented people can come up with at:
wheel182@hotmail.com or Sarcastabitch@sacbeemail.com